The Laughing Dream - TLD: December 2014

Sunday, 7 December 2014

Archery Contest - Sports Jokes

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...

He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target.
Then he takes of his cape and screams:
I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a cape lines up in position.
He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!
He takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!
The crowd cheers!!

Finally, a third man in cape lines up in position...

He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!!
It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!
Then the man takes off his cape and screams:
I AM...... SORRY!!!

Arrange Vs Love Marriage - Marriage Jokes

Arrange marriage is...!
"While you are walking, unfortunately a snakes bites you"

But love marriage is...!

Dancing in front of cobra and singing
"Wanna be my chammak challo"

Feel The Difference - Funny Jokes

Real truth about proposal:

Boys always start love with this sentence "We are friends"

AND

Girls always end love with this sentence "We are just friends"

Feel the difference

Maa Sab Jaanti Hai - Hindi Jokes

5 year old boy :- I love u mom
Mom:- Aww! I Love u too......

16 year old boy:- I love u mom
Mom :- Sorry! I have no money..
.
.
25 year old boy:- I love u mom.
Mom:- Hmm... kaun hai woh? kahan rehti hai?
.
.
Moral:- Maa sab jaanti hai
But the best is..
35 yr old man:- Mom I love you
Mom: Beta maine pehle hi bola tha uss kamini se shaadi mat karna

And the last one...
55 yr old man:- Mom I love you...
Mom:- Beta main kisi bhi paper par sign nahi karoongi...

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Husband-Wife Funnies

Hubby Ke Birthday Par Wife Ne Pucha: Kya Gift Chahiye Tumhe???
Hubby: Tum Mujhe Pyar Karo, Izzat Karo Aur Mera Kehna Maano... Bas Yahi kaafi hai.
Wife, Kuch Der Soch Ke: Nahin, Main Toh Gift Hi Dungi.

Ek Marwadi Ne Shadi Mein Damad Ko CHESS Board Gift Diya.
Damad: Yeh Kya ?
Marwadi: Badi Tamanna Thi ki Beti Ko Shadi Mein HATHI, GHODE, UNTH, NAUKAR-CHAKAR Dun, Aaj Meri Iccha Puri Ho Gayi !!!

Why do most indian women request 4 the same husband in the next life???
Arre... Itni Mehnat Se Trained Kiya Hai... Waste Thodi Jaane Denge!

Wife: Aap Bangkok Jaate Ho Toh Mujhe Kyon Nahin LE Jaate???
Husband: Arrey Pagli, Jab Restaurant Mein Jaate Hain Toh Tiffin Thode Na Le Ke Jaate Hain!!!!

Pati: Tum Hamesha Mera - Mera Karti Ho, Mera Beta, Mera Ghar, Meri Car. Tumhe 'Hamara' Kehna Chahiye.
Ab Almari Mein Kya Dhoond Rahi Ho...???

Wife: Hamara Petticoat...!!!

Feeling Depressed ??? - Funny Jokes

If you ever feel depressed in your life... open your mailbox... When I open my mailbox, I find: 10 banks are giving me easy loans.

I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall & greying.
3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.

And to top it all ...
Approx 70-80 mails from Priya, Payal, & Neha who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.

What else you need from life ???

A Twist in the Tale - Funny English Jokes

Girl: Hiiiiii.
Boy: Hi.
Girl: What happened?
Boy: Nothing.
Girl: No, say na what happened... You look soo sad.
Boy: I'll ask you something... and you have to tell me the truth... will you?
Girl: Ok, ask.
Boy: Who is Raj loafer? He liked all your profile pictures and even your status updates on FB. who is the dumb idiot?
Girl: Please don't say anything about him.
Boy: Is he your ex boyfriend? Are you still in love with him?
Girl: Why would I love him... You are my only love...
Boy: Then is he your brother?
Girl: No no... not like that...
Boy: Then who the hell is he?
Girl: Shall we talk something else?
Boy: So you are hiding something from me? You have that much close relationship with him... he's so much important to you, right?
Girl: If I disclose the secret you'll definitely scold me.
Boy: I'm getting irritated now... don't test my patience.
Girl: Please Yaar...
Boy: If You don't tell me I'll break our relationship roght now.
Girl: Ok, I'll tell you... but promise me that you won't scold me, ok??
Boy: Oh, ok...

Girl: Hmmm... That is my fake profile... if no one likes my dp I like my pictures through that id and also post comments like cute, nice, hot, sexy, etc.... etc!!!!!